A boys night out series
by raelynn gross
Summary: one shots about the boys time together with cameo's from the girls and other soul eater cast. THIS IS NOT A YOAI
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL, I DO HOWEVER OWN THESE ONE SHOTS AND HUMOR

"Soul, please pass me the black." Kid said as he tried to reach around Blackstar who was applying blue nail polish to his fingernails.

"Sure just let me finish my red so I can dry." Soul replied as he did a final brush on his pinky and handed the black polish to his friend. Currently the three boys were having a boys night in, of course Maka was in bed sick in the other room.

"Dude, shouldn't you like check on your girlfriend?" Blackstar asked before blowing his nails.

"I like, just finished here Blackstar, besides my wavelength is normal so I don't have to worry." The albino said, though in truth this whole guys night was to make sure he didn't freak out if she even coughed wrong.

"OH MY FATHER," Kid suddenly yelled holding up his right hand and examining the fingernails.

"What?" both teenage boys asked worried for their friend's sudden attack.

"I broke a nail." He moaned sounding eerily like his girlfriend Liz. Blackstar broke out in laughter as Soul smiled and handed the shinigami a nail file. If Maka ever found out he had gotten into her cosmetics she would kill him. Speaking of which, Blackstar was right for once he did need to check on her.

"Kay guy's try to stay quiet till I return." He instructed before making his way to his girlfriend's bedroom. Maka was up reading when he entered the room. They exchanged smiles as he crossed to her bed.

"Hey, you hungry or anything?" he asked as he pushed back her bangs to check for a fever. Maka shook her head before grabbing his hand.

"What are you boys up to in there?" she asked hoarsely quirking an eyebrow.

"Nothing angel, just having some fun." He smirked before kissing her cheeks.

"Wanna join us?" he asked after a few short breaths. Maka nodded as Soul carried her to their small couch.

"What's tiny tits doing here, I thought this was guys night?" Blackstar asked eyeing the pale blonde.

"She's sick, so I thought hanging with us would make her better." Soul stated as he passed her the green nail polish to hold so he could paint her nails.

"Or make us sick." Kid sulked in disdain as he noticed her unsymmetrical appearance. Soul shot them the evil eye as Maka released a small giggle then a cough. This made the albino freeze and watch her closely before deeming it safe to continue.

"Anyway, did you hear Hiro yesterday during P.E.?" Soul asked as he finished Maka's hand.

"No what did he say?" Both Kid and Blackstar asked leaning in closer. Soul glanced back and forth making sure they were alone before lowering his voice.

"He was ranting about how hot it was, I man we live in the freakin desert, it's gonna get hot." Soul said waving his hand about as if he was a girl talking about something to her hairdresser.

"Hey, did you know that Tsubaki sleeps with a teddy bear." Blackstar laughed as he began the girl talk.

"Oh yeah, well the girls sleep naked together." Kid smirked, "In my bed." This earned both boys to groan as Soul noticed drool fall from Maka's slightly parted lips. Her moss green eyes were slightly opened causing the albino to pause.

"Maka, your drooling," he said gently tapping the drugged girl. Her medicine was beginning to kick in.

"Oh, sorry I dozed off." She smiled.

"But your eyes were open." Blackstar said slightly crawling away from her.

"Yeah, I do that from time to time, freaks Soul out completely." Maka laughed.

"Yeah, after sex she falls asleep and later I'll wake to see her staring at me but softly snoring at me as well, talk about scary movie themes." The albino laughed. Maka felt too weak to move so she simply glared at the albino.

"OH FATHER I BROKE ANOTHER NAIL!" Kid screamed causing all occupants in the room to jump.

"You guys are gay." She sighed before ordering Soul to return her to her room. Later that night Blackstar slept with his teddy bear and Kid was naked next to a petrified Soul. He was washing his bed three times tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER

All three boys remained silent before eyeing the rocky cliff side.

"So this is our mission?" Kid asked as he popped his fingers one by one.

"Yes, once we get to the top, we will have our objective." Blackstar smirked as he walked closer to the rocks. If Liz and Maka found out about this, both Soul and Kid were dead meat.

"Let's just get this over with, Maka promised a treat since I aced the test last week." All three men began the long track up the steep slope. It was Blackstar who reached the top first, having ample practice. Suddenly a throwing star embedded itself in the ninjas forehead effectively sending the boy backwards in a heap of blood. Kid laughed until another hit him sending him back to the bottom. Soul was smarter as he remained down from sight. A throwing star appeared over him as another star hit it sending it down and into his skull; he missed Maka-chops, less painful.

Tsubaki smiled as she resumed her bathing and listened to the three boys plan another attack. The next day the three boys sat together in silence as the girls gave them the silent treatment.

"We should totally spy on the twins next, didn't you say they sleep together naked at night?" Blackstar asked. Kid shook his head as Soul tried to think of ways to get back on Maka's goodside.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own soul eater

"This is the worst mission ever," Kid growled as the group of seven sat in the back of the Irish Catholic Church.

"They should be worshipping me, the great Blackstar." The ninja hissed after being forced by Tsubaki to remain quiet. Soul was currently praying and making a cross every five minuet's as Irish chants echoed throughout the room.

"Such a beautiful language," Liz whispered as Tsubaki quickly agreed. Both Maka and Patty were currently fighting sleep, this kishin was dead when they found it.

"Soul, how much longer," Blackstar asked aching to cause a scene.

"Two hours, now calm down." Soul replied eyes still closed.

"This church is unsymmetrical, some god he is." Kid seethed before Soul could cover his mouth. All heads turn to them as Blackstar appeared at the head of the building pushing the preacher to the side. Soul groaned as he pulled Maka infront of him, he loved her but angry catholic Irish people had nuns with rulers, he went through the pain of a catholic school, she died first this time.

"ALRIGHT PEPOLE TIME TO WORSHIP A TRUE GOD, I AM BLACKSTAR YOUR NEW GOD!" Tsubaki and the others moaned at the stupidity as Kid began saying how he would rather worship Blackstar than some unsymmetrical dead guy.

"Guy's I don't won't to go to hell!" Soul whimpered as Maka tried to fight back bibles that were being thrown at her. death by the bible, a fitting end for a bookworm like her.

"I AM THE GREAT BLACKSTAR ALL BOW BEFORE ME!" Patty laughed as she began taking the bibles and coloring them.

"And I am Death the Kid, the god of deaths son a grim reaper in training." Kid replied standing next to the hyper ninja. Liz sighed as her and Tsubaki hid beside Maka and Soul. This mission was a disaster. Suddenly glass shattered above the godly duo as a giant priest jumped before them.

"I AM THE GREAT GOD MCBETH!" the priest yelled causing the already silent room to hit the floor.

"Great another godly phyco," Soul muttered as Tsubaki and the twins transformed for their miesters.

AT SHIBUSEN

"Well, how did it go?" asked a bubbly lord death. All eyes diverted from the god as Blackstar laughed about his excellence.

"What's wrong?" lord death asked.

"Blackstar somehow managed to convert a whole catholic church to worship Blackstarnisim; the belief in Blackstar the almighty." Kid groaned as Soul began to cry on Maka's shoulder.

"Oh," was all the death god could say as the group watched Blackstar prance around, Maka was forced to write his bible.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: YOU KNOW WHAT GOES HERE

"Ok men, it is the duty of a father to protect his daughter, octopus head.."

"Yes sir," Soul saluted from the three man line infront of Spirit.

"What do you know about this enemy that took Maka?" the red head asked as the female weapons sighed in their forms.

"A demon, worse than Crona or any other foul creature of this earth." The scythe weapon snarled clenching his fist in anger.

"Kid, as shinigami I want you to place eyes and ears in places she may be tonight, Blackstar, I want you to play god and attempt a fight with this monster." Spirit ordered.

"Me play god? I am a god!" Blackstar laughed before leaving the death room.

"I shall begin my duties as well." Kid announced running from the room. Now only Soul and Sprit remained.

"You know what to do?" he asked, Soul nodded before making his leave.

Maka smiled as she listened to her date, unaware of the many eyes watching them.

"Target sighted, awaiting orders." Blackstar whispered tightening his hold on Tsubaki's chain scythe mode.

"Good, now remember Blackstar, we shouldn't anger them." Kid warned as he aimed the twins. Soul stood silent near the cafés bar disguised as a waiter in a red tux.

"So, Wes, what can you tell me about Soul?" Maka asked as the elder Evans sat back in thought.

"I think he's gay." He answered after several minutes. Soul choked on his own drool at his brother's statement as Kid and the others laughed over the radio's.

"So not cool." The albino growled as Blackstar continued to tease him.

"That does explain his behavior when he fought Kid the first time." she smiled.

"I guess my brother has a right to choose his love life." Wes mused as the blonde quickly agreed. Soul continued to growl as Kid joined in on the teasing.

"I can't lie that often I've humored the thought of you and him being an item of brotherly love." Maka whispered causing Soul to fall to the ground.

"Really, and has it entertained you?" he asked curiously. By now, all three boys and weapons were listening eagerly. Maka blushed glad that her weapon was not near.

"Very much, I enjoy the thought a little too much for my own good." She confessed as Soul stood and began walking over.

"Dude, abort," Blackstar choked out.

"You'll ruin the plan!" Kid hissed. Both miester and brother looked up as Soul leaned down and French kissed his brother. The female weapons quickly became human rushing forward to join Maka in a close up view. The boys were wide eyed and slack jawed at the uncool sight and Soul and Wes seemed completely unfazed. Finally the two broke apart.

"Maka, I love you and if that was not enough proof that I would do anything for you, I quiet." Soul snapped taking a seat by the stunned miester.

"Can you two do that again naked?" she asked as the three girls fainted and the boys puked.

"Woman, be glad I love you." Soul moaned as Wes laughed beside them.

"And how was the mission?" Spirit asked the three boys infront of him.

"Mission failed." The cried in unison.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER

"Please Kid, just unbutton me," Soul pleaded trying not to pee on himself. He had broken both his arms thanks to Blackstar; therefore, Maka had ordered him to be accompanied at all times.

"Soul, I can't do this, you're totally unsymmetrical." The shinigami whined.

"Dude I'm about to piss my pants, fucking unbutton me!" the scythe snarled. Right now, he missed Maka, damn school rules and special library time.

"I-I'm sorry," Kid said before falling to the ground crying. Soul groaned jumping around doing as people called "The pee, pee dance."

"Man I aint playing I have to pee!" Soul yelled causing passing students to stare. Kid continued to have his melt down as Soul tried to undo his pants and plead to the shinigami. It was not until Liz past them that Soul got his relief from her taking away the crying shinigami. In seconds, Soul felt a warm sensation run down his legs before the mortifying realization hit him that he had peed himself and the death god's son was gone. Time to call Maka; he needed new pants so uncool for a sixteen-year-old death scythe.


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I OWN SOUL EATER…NOT

"This is a bad idea," Soul said as Blackstar smiled widely. Soul was more cautious as he eyed the distance to the ground. Maka was going to kill him if this did not.

"Man, this is gonna be awesome totally a task fit for a god!" the ninja miester yelled.

"Dude, I'm not a god," the weapon whimpered as his friend readied to jump. Ok bad idea, they had no safety harness, no help nearby, and so far his will included a stash of porn for the idiot beside him…who the hell was going to watch Maka!

"JUMP!" Soul yelped as he was pulled off the building with the hyper ninja. He released a high-pitched scream before hitting the cement arms first, blackness soon after.

Beeping noises of the hospital room met his ears as he opened his eyes. He couldn't move his arms as he spotted Maka reading beside him.

"Hey," Soul said as his blonde miester pushed back his hair.

"Hey, do you want anything?" Maka asked grabbing the water bottle she'd been using.

"I need to change my will, and avoid Blackstar." The scythe moaned examining his broken bones.

"So I take it you remember what happened." She whispered.

"Please don't be mad," Soul pleaded. A smile crossed her lips before she spoke.

"I'm not, having two broke arms and falling dependent on others is punishment enough." Maka was right as usual as Soul was forced to depend on others till his arms healed.


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT WN SOUL EATER

Liz glared at the shinigami child. What he had done was inexcusable. Patty was quiet for once evilly glaring at their miester.

"Liz, I can explain I promise." Kid said holding his hands up protectively. Both twins cracked their knuckles ready to strike the gun miester when glass broke and four arms grabbed him.

"Got ta go!" Blackstar yelled as the trio ran from the Gallows.

"They are so dead, ten bucks the other girls are mad as well." Patty laughed. Her sister merely nodded as they called the other girlfriends.

"Do you think it's safe?" Soul asked as he peeked out from an old abandoned building.

"No way, women are scary when angry, not to mention all of them are on their periods!" Blackstar pleaded as he cowered, hugging Kid. Kid nodded as he kept glancing around scared.

"We should have never tried on their bathing suits." Soul whimpered as the girls figures ran past their hiding place. Yep, this was a bad idea, no wonder people thought they were gay.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER AND THE STORY LINE WAS ANGELOFFLUFFINESS IDEA

Soul smiled as he busied himself with making out with his pigtailed miester, of course tonight being a Friday, it was also guys night. Blackstar was not a happy camper as a reluctant Kid hid amongst the bushes with the angry ninja.

"Why am I here again, I was getting laid by two sexy twins, might I add it was symmetrical!" the shinigami snarled as his friend continued to glare at the scythe weapon and his miester.

"Because, I plan to ruin his romantic girly evening, since he ruined our manly one." The fake god explained.

"Right, so another plan that lands me on the couch with angry women, Soul is going to kill you." Kid replied. Blackstar chose to ignore him as they watched their friend hand feed his girlfriend.

"So what's the plan oh godly one?" Kid teased, missing the smug grin on his friends face.

"Just watch," he giggled retrieving a photo album full of gay photos of Soul.

"How did you," Kid began before his friend disappeared. He was scared of what the false god could do with those photos.

Soul was kissing Maka's lips when the brick wall behind them lit up with various pictures of him in gay situations. Someone seriously hated him. Maka's soft giggling met his ears as he turned to face her.

"I love you Soul, even if the world thinks you're gay." She whispered as Blackstar threw a tantrum.

"It failed," Kid, said relaxing on the ground.

"I know, okay," The ninja snarled thinking of another plan.

"This will fell as well." Kid mused as his friend continued to panic.

"No, I need this to work. Soul is my friend not hers, she can't have him!" Blackstar screamed causing Kid to rethink the ninja's sexual attraction.

After various tries and failures eight pm, turned to midnight and the two lovebirds were still together.

"This is wrong, wait I have it," he smiled before leaving a confused and tired Kid to follow.

"EVERYONE SOUL EVANS HAD SEX WITH DEATH THE KID LAST WEEK!" Blackstar announced causing two petrified boys to freeze in their spots as an angry Maka punched the blue haired ninja god. The next day Kid gave Blackstar the silent treatment as the twins ignored Kid.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER

Soul rant: "Why did I seem gay throughout all these one shot's. I mean all I talk about is how I laid Maka, and instead I'm gay, that's uncool."

Kid: "At least I was symmetrical throughout this,"

"Soul rant, continue: "You were laid by twins, Everyone now thinks I'm gay!"

Blackstar: "You should be happy that you were portrayed by a great god like me!"

Both: "…"

Soul: "People, think I am gay!"

Kid: "The twins sleep naked in my bed,"

Soul: "I know, Kid"

Blackstar: "You just don't feel like sharing your god,"

Soul: "Yeah, no"

Kid laughs,

Soul: I'm going home

Kid: " He's just jealous cause everyone knows he's your secret lover now"

Blackstar: "Damn straight"

Raelynn: "thanks for reading my one shot's, please read my other stories. They may be better lol.


End file.
